Thursday, April 30, 2009

Oliver & his helpful epiphany

The other day I was flitting around the house doing my spring cleaning (STILL not done), when my Ipod battery died. I took my earbuds out and plugged it into my laptop to charge...when I heard Oliver whining. So I went to the bay window in Jeff's office; sure enough he was crying about going outside. It doesn't matter if it's rain or shine, he ALWAYS wants to be outside...digging in the mulch, laying to the sunny spots, exploring the overgrown bushes by the chicken coop. I realized then; watching him cry about going outside, that I understood how he felt. Cooped up in the house, feeling like there is so much more the smell, explore, roll around in...well for him maybe, but you get the idea! :) I have been living in this angry, cloudy little funk the last 6 weeks...and I don't want to be like that anymore.
I still have my ideas about what is acceptable behavior and not...but why be so angry anymore. I have a second chance to live my life the way I want!
I've got plenty of things that I want to accomplish before I "settle down"...I just need to focus on those goals! Life will work itself out!

Thursday, April 23, 2009

People never cease to amaze me...

Note to the reader: This probably will be offensive to you...if you take things to heart! I don't mean it that way...I'm just venting.

So, it seems that news of a miscarriage spreads MUCH slower than news of a pregnancy! I know people mean well by telling me how sorry they are, (well that's nice and all) but after a month...I'M SICK OF TALKING ABOUT IT WITH STRANGERS! I don't even like to talk about it with close friends! I'm not a "sharer" when it comes to personal (deeply personal) issues.
When does common sense click on in an average humans brain? Well, I'm learning that the majority of the town of Archbold seems to be lacking that gene.

I guess that's not really true...not for everyone. I am grateful to those people who knew about the miscarriage, and right away gave their sympathies...then we moved right along onto our regular lives.

I now have people coming up to me congratulating me on a pregnancy that is not anymore. Other people seem to not get the idea that when I mention drinking, or they see me drinking; that I'm not pregant anymore. I'm not ignorant...I do know that drinking harms a you REALLY think I would drink if I WAS pregnant??? Like I said...common sense!

I just want people to understand that I'm drowning in this little town, with people who don't seem to understand/respect boundaries, living a life that's not completely my own, in my own self pity...just trying to claw my way out of my own personal cloudy hell. If I want to talk to people about my personal life...I would bring it up.
Well...that's enough venting for one lifetime on that subject! :)

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Indulging my passion...

I am going to be starting my own profile on It is about time that I started getting paid for my crafts, art, and treats! :) I am excited because not only is this something that I have wanted to do for a LONG time, but it is also something on my 101 list.

I have started some of the other things on the list...I have already lost 4 pounds!!! YEAH! I am working out almost everyday, I had to take off yesterday because I was so sore from chopping firewood...yes you read me correctly! :)
We put in a wood burning stove this last winter, and I would recommend it to ANY homeowner. It saved us a bundle on our gas heat bill this year already! So now we have a huge pile of wood for next winter that still needs to be chopped into more manageable pieces for the stove...then stacked. As soon as all that gets finished, then I can start to clean up the yard.

I am going to be a busy bee for a while. Not to mention that I am "applying" for a babysitting gig for a couple in town. They have a 2 1/2 year old boy, and a newborn. One more thing on my plate for this summer, but I think it will be nice to be at home at night for a change during the summer! :) Well....this will definitely be a busy year I am guessing...GREAT! HA!